With my eighteenth birthday getting closer and closer, I am faced with several realities that pretty much qualify me for adulthood regardless of what my parents or contemporaries think. I can drink alcohol legally. I can get an actually decent credit card. I qualify for a full wage with benefits. I can legally own a gun. Oh, yeah, and that other thing that no-one cares about. Erm... what is it? ... bear with me here. Ah! Of course! Voting!
Yeah, so I can vote. Big deal. Living in the West, it's sometimes hard to find true democracy, or at least a decent representation of the full spectrum of political views. The Labour Party? Centrist. The Conservatives? Awful. The Lib Dems? (Sadly) Considered to be the third party – a pointless entity that no-one votes for. The Green Party? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHEM.
Before I get any deeper, I'm not addressing politics in general – some other time, maybe. Despite this, I must admit that I find it grimly ironic that people don't see voting as useful, especially considering that politics pretty much creeps into every aspect of our socio-economic structure. This was particularly evident in an event on Saturday the 15th of May – The Eurovision Song Contest.
“-----------------------------
Just maybe I'm crazy,
The world spins round and round and round,
Shi-di-ri-di-duy, shi-di-ri-di-da-na,
Shi-di-ri-di-duy, shi-di-ri-di-da-na,
I want you to want me as I dance,
Round and round and round
Shi-di-ri-di-duy, shi-di-ri-di-da-na,
Shi-di-ri-di-duy, shi-di-ri-di-da-na,
Forever and ever go, go, go
Wild dancers!
------------------------------
Right. Let me get this straight. I hate pop music. Or camp music. Or camp pop music. Still, I watch it. “Why?!”, you may currently be shouting at the monitor. Well, one of two reasons. Firstly, the wonderful Terry Wogan's cynical digs at the contest from BBC Centre, mocking the Norwegian entry or reminiscing about Abba's glory days in his cheeky Irish ways. Secondly, and undoubtedly the funnier, the predictability of some of the votes. This is what I feel led to the eventual victory by Ukraine, with the “wonderful” and “mesmerising” performance by Ruslana Lyzichko with the upbeat party “hit”, Wild Dancers.
This of course, is based on political bias and prejudice. Let me give you an idea of the way the voting went:
* Andorra gave 12 points to Spain.
* Portugal gave 12 points to Spain.
* Denmark gave 12 points to Sweden.
* Finland gave 12 points to Sweden.
* Norway gave 12 points to Sweden.
* Bosnia and Herzegovina gave 12 points to Serbia and Montenegro.
* Croatia gave 12 points to Serbia and Montenegro.
* Slovenia gave 12 points to Serbia and Montenegro.
* Malta gave 12 points to Greece.
* Cyprus gave 12 points to Greece.
* Albania gave 12 points to Greece.
Oops! Let's not forget the Balkan cheating that led to victory...
* Russia gave 12 points to Ukraine.
* Latvia gave 12 points to Ukraine.
* Estonia gave 12 points to Ukraine.
* Lithuania gave 12 points to Ukraine.
* Poland gave 12 points to Ukraine.
“-----------------------------
Day-na-day-na wanna be loved
Day-na gonna take my wild chances
Day-na-day-na freedom above
Day-na-da-na-da I'm wild and dancing, hey!
------------------------------
[“Wild Dancers” by Ruslana Lyzichko]
No doubt if Belarus also attended, they'd have had another 12. It's ridiculous, you see. France and Germany's usual strong support has waned in the last two years, although I wouldn't blame them for the “Jemini Incident” of 2003. Of course, this boils down to the war with Iraq. What about Spain? Gibraltar, of course. Denmark? 3-0. It's ridiculous.
I feel that, on behalf of common decency, Eurovision should be stopped. It's simply dressing up continental politics with musicians in a league table... a league table we're currently 16th in. This means that we're one of the countries least likely to get support during an invasion. Ukraine, of course, has its Soviet allies, although to be fair, no-one really wants Ukraine anyway, Chernobyl and all.
This fundamentally supports my view on voting in this country: no wonder no-one wants to... it'll just boil down to a hoedown in the House of Commons.
I bet David Blunkett does a mean breakdance, though.
