Monkey Business: They Don't Make Them Like They Used To

[Due to a lot of contributions at the time - all as angry, if not more than my own - this following article remained unpublished until now. In retrospect I am glad of this: Pools went on to remain unbeaten for 24 games straight, setting club records along the way and getting promoted as runners-up of League One for the 2006-7 season. Republished 12 July 2007; originally produced under the date above]

Why do Pools hurt me so?

The start to this season has been genuinely surprising (and wholly disconcerting), and has dented many people’s faith in Pools. But why?

After watching yesterday’s utter shambles (16th September; Pools 0-3 Shrewsbury), a few different theories hit me, each one as truthful as the next. Some are fair, and many are unfair, but it lies as much in the players’ abilities as it does in the fans’ support - from which my two theories as to why we’re so inconsistent and, quite frankly, god awful when we want to be. I apologise in advance for my negativity at the moment - many know me for my staunch pro-Pools and anti-Darlo sentiments online - but I assure you it’ll be a short-term thing, because I feel that action will be taken to sort out the problems I raise in the very near future.

Let us take the players first. On a quick scan of our team sheet, only a few names remain from the promotion season of 2002/3: Eifion Williams, Matty Robson, Tony Sweeney, Jim Provett, Micky Barron, Mark Tinkler, Ritchie Humphreys and Darrell Clarke. And how many of them are securing first team games right now, from week to week, like they did in 2002/3? The first three. If they’re lucky. Which they’re not. Eifion has suffered from being played out of position; Matty Robson, although met with mixed criticism, strikes me as someone good at running in a straight line - not playing left back (or at all, some others may say); and Sweeney, who I’ve always respected as a player but one who has slipped in his ability compared to his usual high standard. Provett, Barron and Tinkler just don’t seem to get games - with Provett’s drop striking me in particular, given his accolade of player (and fan) awards for being one hell of a goalkeeper and shot-stopper. Clarke’s injury record speaks for itself (bloody nice guy like), and Humphreys… well, that’s a different argument altogether isn’t it? What stands out most, however, is that in the new signings we’ve had, only one to me seems consistent - Michael Nelson.

Too many team changes have led to our downfall. Martin Scott *spitspitspit* had a penchant for playing lucky dip with his teams; I think he bought Lancelot from the National Lottery and painted the players’ faces on the balls, because there wasn’t any decipherable formation or team-building exercise going on (although the return to the tunnel in the closing days of his career was pretty close). This affected the players’ confidence immeasurably, but it’s something that’s STUCK - which is now the players’ fault. Going back a few years now, you think of players with their hearts in the game, such as Sir Tommy of Miller, Baron Knowles and King Gary of Strodder, I was saying to someone leaving the ground after the aforementioned shambles that they don’t make players like them anymore. Not at Pools, anyway - fighting spirit seems like a dirty word at the moment. It’s affecting everything, from our playmaking to our dead-balls, our passing to our penalties (7 points extra if we’d have scored them all… and we’ve only played NINE games). Our confidence as a team has destroyed, or is slowly destroying, all that was holy about Pools in the Turner and Cooper eras.

We’re playing awful teams and what are we doing? Lowering ourselves to their standard. Before, in League One, the teams were bigger and more powerful, and we rose to the challenge. I don’t know if it’s some kind of twisted condescending logic Pools are adopting, but it sure as hell isn’t working.

BUT - what was the driving force behind Pools’ success in the seasons that we did so well? In 2002-3, at Sunderland, at Cardiff? The FANS - the other major factor in my view.

At the Boston United home win not so long ago, me and a few of my friends were starting songs like nobody’s business. Why? Because no-one else was. When did that start? The worst thing was, when we started singing Two Little Boys, we were the only 6 fans singing it, because other fans were too busy turning around and looking at us as if we were mad, or that singing was a crime. It actually made me extremely angry - the fighting spirit seems to have drifted away from the core audience of Pools, too. They don’t make fans like they used to either, so it seems. Our voices got louder and louder as more people watched us singing (and in doing so, were looking AWAY from Pools on the pitch - and this is the centre-back of the Town End, with Pools scoring towards us!). They seemed to harbour no shame in the fact that they cared more for the singing jokers behind them than the action on the pitch - it was as if they’d paid their £x for the Lads Aloud concert behind them and not the game, which we were winning (and yes, I’m the equivalent of that ugly ginger one from our female counterparts. It also looks like I’ve eaten her too).

Looking at these faces, I realised they all had one thing in common - all 100 or so in the immediate vicinity, and others dotted elsewhere - I’d never seen them before at Pools in my life.

Before leaving for the Commonwealth of Kingston-Upon-Hull to go to University in 2004, I hadn’t missed a single home game in 5 years, and I’d missed 6 in 7 years. I was there for the entire rise to power (and for quite a few years before that - my first game, aged 8, was on the 12th of April, 1994 - and I was way too young to go on my own), and seen fans come and go. But since living away for a couple of years, a lot more has changed fan-wise than in the entire time I supported them fully before I left. Is this because they’re fair-weather fans who’ve suddenly become rather bored of it all, now we’re back in what now seems to be our homeland?

My conclusion, however, hit me like a ton of bricks after the Shrewsbury game. I actually considered walking out - 15 minutes before the game had finished. I’ve never walked out of a game early, and I’ve always cheered and clapped at the end, regardless of result. I actually screamed abuse at the end because I was so angry. Lost my voice too. Not that anyone could hear it anyway - the rest of them were booing, something I’m very averse to but something Pools THOROUGHLY deserved after that waste of time. That’s reason enough for me to think that it’s Pools that are letting the fans down and not the other way around - even if it’s just marginal.

And this brings me neatly back to the dents in my faith in Pools - are we underachieving now, or were we overachieving back then? I certainly don’t think we have a chance at promotion unless the players and the fans sort themselves out - and I’m happy to chair this gentlemanly agreement.

Oh, and by the way… I’m not going to blame Wilson. Not just yet. I felt the other points were more important. But, one thing’s for sure, I’m definitely not giving him as much time as I gave Scott.