As of February 2012, I've decided to stop updating this formally as a portfolio. Thanks for stopping by and reading what I've posted; I decided it was best for me to move on from this and focus on more creative work, instead of documenting simple in-the-job writing.

Saturday, 18 August 2007

Monkey Business: The Boy is Back in Town

Following my articles last season, I again was published in this season's first Monkey Business - Hartlepool United's fanzine. Issue 85 covered the aftermath of promotion and the high hopes our fans have for the upcoming season back in League One. I've included photo captures of the cover and the article itself; click on the picture to have a look!



The Ginger Poolie has returned to Hartlepool after a few years away, and is looking forward to another season of success

What a season eh?

Now that I'm back from The People's Republic of Kingston-Upon-Hull, I can't wait to restore my weekly following of Hartlepool United.

I had to spend countless weekends camped in front of Sir Stelling's superb Soccer Saturday with Pools World blasting out of my computer while my housemates blabbered on about how great Arsenal and Aston Villa are and how insignificant Pools were (even though I informed them in March that at least our season hadn't ended yet).

Doing a final year degree, and having spent most of my money in the previous two years, I found it extremely difficult to get to games (strategically organising trips back to God's Country to fall on home game weekends and the like).

I probably saw the least games in a season since I started watching Pools, and it happened to be our record-breaking year. I just couldn't believe my luck. Worst thing was, out of the 14 games I saw, 8 were losses... and we only lost 10 times in the season.

Trust my luck. I see us fail at the start and fail at the end. Pardon me for sounding defeatist, but two of my three worst moments (obviously the way home from Cardiff being the other) happened during the magical 46 of 2006-7.

Firstly, my feelings after Shrewsbury panned us 3-0 at home. I nearly left 10 minutes from the end, and I've never left early. I was seething. It was truly awful. Luckily my article didn't get published in the following week's edition of Monkey Business (mainly due to the fact so many other people were spitting blood at similar issues).

The second, however, was one entirely new to me (and no doubt many other fans, if they shared a similar experience). Losing away to Barnet to end the winning streak drove me crazy. I'd actually FORGOTTEN what it was like to lose.

Click the picture to read the published article!


To think that after the way we'd played, we lost to a Mickey Mouse club like that lot. And, to a certain extent, I knew it signalled the end of our dominance - the spanner in the works to shake the confidence of our lot.

However, our second-from-last fixture was one of the most memorable I've been to. Rochdale was possibly the most ludicrous game I'd ever seen. From a pitch that could only have been bought from Basra, to one of the dirtiest teams I've ever clapped eyes on, that Saturday in Greater Manchester was just unbelievable.

Starting in high spirits with 3,500 fancy dress Poolies in attendance, the place was bouncing. Until about the 2nd minute, anyway. What followed can only be described as a shambles.

My favourite moment during the Rochdale game was probably when Monkhouse (or Bob) rolled the ball along the floor to Barker (or Ronnie) who was 6 yards away, and the pitch was so bad that Barker had to head it back to him.

Or when Doolan kicked a lump out of Porter, then scraped his studs straight down Monkhouse's leg so badly that I could see the marks from the back row of the away stand (causing Bob to violently - and as a professional wrongfully - lash out).

Ronnie impersonating Dimi on the goal-line was just bizarre. Memories of the beginning of the season were cemented by the missed penalty.

When we eventually went up, staying consistent and opting out of silverware, I was strangely disappointed. I think my experience of Pools last season really did that for me, as I was only there for the undefeated run in spirit.

I don't even think we bottled it - we DID give Walsall a 15 point head start after all - but we deserved much more recognition. We laughed off League Two and showed it for the waste disposal facility it is, alongside our fellow relegated brethren. Apart from the MK Dongs, but who cares about them?

With some genuinely quality signings over the summer, our biggest worry now seems to be picking a best 11, as there are at least 16 players who could do the job.

Although I remain apprehensive, I think we may shock League One again. Now King Danny is in charge and all traces (apart from Bullock) have been removed from the awful Sc** era, we can do it.

In closing, although last season for me was painful live yet amazing on the radio, I think my presence in the Town End may not be as frustrating as last season. Although the pessimistic superstition and repeating factors of no silverware and an end of season crumble are in evidence (and spell out a similar fate to our previous spell in League One), I can safely say that I feel like we'll stay for good in the third tier now.

Unless we go up again. Am I jinxing us by saying that?

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